Advancing the War on Aging

You know, I'm really trying to look like I am aging gracefully. However, there is nothing "graceful" about it. This is the true "War on Terror".

Allow me to introduce you to my army:

$30 cream for my wrinkles: (this one is on the front lines.)





The services of a hair therapist to cover my grays: (this is kind of the national guard of my line of defense, I don't need this as often as the other guys, but nevertheless, this is an invaluable asset.)




The Turkey Neck Eliminator: (this is like a sergeant, without this, the other guys don't do as well. )




My bags-under-the-eye caffeine cream: (this is The General, the leader of the army. The glue that keeps the forces together.)




I thought I was really defeating Mother Nature until I went out with my friend last week. We were checking out at the register when I had to run out to the car to get my ID. In an attempt to kill time with a little joke my friend, Janet, said:

"She's pretty forgetful sometimes."

Cashier: "My mom is too."

Then the other day, I went to the grocery store. Again, the cashier, was wearing a pin on her shirt that said "Under 40? We ask for ID"

Confused, I said :

"What do you have to be 40 to buy?"

The cashier said, "Oh, if a person isn't clearly WAY OVER 21, and they are buying alcohol or cigarettes, we'll ask for ID"

I said " Oh, I get it, if they look a day under 40, you card them, to avoid any mistakes."

The cashier said, " Yeah, Like you are clearly old enough, I would never ask you for ID."

I said " Because I look 40?!"

"Uhhhhh, no........here's your receipt, have a nice day."

I have noticed the cashier pattern here. So in the future, I'll be shoplifting to avoid any further insults.

And for the record, there is nothing wrong with being 40, if you are 40.